When the Season Gets Heavy: A Christmas Reflection for the Industry ThatNever Rests

I still remember the Christmas I got fired.

The lights were twinkling, the music was soft, the dining room smelled like cinnamon and pine… and I was walking out the back door with my apron in my hand, trying not to cry.

No goodbye. No warning. No “thanks for your work.”

Just a policy being enforced at the moment that suited them - definitely not the moment that considered me.

A policy that never asked why someone might be unraveling.A policy that punished the symptom and ignored the cause.

Most people hear that and are shocked.But if you’ve been in hospitality long enough, you know it’s not shocking at all.

It’s just another Tuesday.

And honestly, that’s what still hits me the hardest. Not the job loss or the timing, but how normal this kind of pain becomes in an industry built on taking care of everyone else.

Christmas in hospitality is its own universe.

It’s magic and chaos.It’s busy and lonely.It’s laughter layered over exhaustion.It’s staff meals eaten standing up.It’s pretending you’re fine because guests expect you to be.

For a lot of us, it’s one of the toughest times of the year - emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially.

The season we pour from empty cups

December brings everything to the surface. The joy, the stress, the grief, the memories we’d rather not revisit.

But in hospitality, you don’t get much time to feel any of it.

You get triple-booked sections.You get understaffed shifts and “just one more” table.You get guests whose expectations would be unrealistic even on your best day.You get the pressure of staying “on” when your insides are begging for a break.

And if you’ve ever dealt with burnout, substance use, or the slow wearing-down of self that happens after years of service, the holidays can feel like a pressure cooker.

This time of year can feel like:

• Your nervous system is permanently on edge

• You’re holding your breath until January

• You’re meeting everyone’s needs except your own

• You’re just hoping you can make it to New Year’s without falling apart

So let me say this plainly:

If December feels heavy, that isn’t a personal failure.It’s the reality of a system that’s been running on exhausted people for decades.

But we still have agency, even when the season is wild.

Hospitality has taught me more than I can list - resilience, awareness, emotional intelligence, grit, and the ability to read a room faster than most therapists.

And that matters, because while we can’t magically change reservation volume or guest behavior or staffing issues, we can choose how we support our bodies, our nervous systems, and each other.

Here’s what I’ve learned from my own experience, from coaching, and from rebuilding myself after 25 years FOH:

1. Small moments matter more than you think

You don’t need a full day off to reset. Sometimes you just need 30 seconds.

Before lineup.Before service.Before stepping back onto the floor.

Put a hand on your chest or stomach. Take three real breaths.Drop your shoulders.Feel your feet.Remind your body: “I’m here. I’m okay.”

It makes a difference.

2. Boundaries aren’t drama

Saying “I can’t take that pickup,” or “I can’t work a double,” doesn’t make you difficult - just human.

Boundaries aren’t walls.They’re oxygen masks.

3. Connection helps more than we admit

The team meal.The quick laugh behind the bar.The “you good?”The shared look that says, “We’ve got each other.”

These tiny moments keep us from feeling completely alone.

4. Your worth isn’t tied to holiday numbers

Not to sales.Not to covers.Not to tips.Not to errors.Not to how much you can carry without breaking.

Your worth existed long before you ever put on a uniform.

5. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone

This season pulls at old wounds for a lot of people.For some it’s grief, for others money stress, family stuff, or loneliness.

The industry has never been great at acknowledging those things, but they’re real.And they deserve compassion.

You deserve compassion.

If you take anything from this, let it be:

You deserve softness, even in the hardest seasons.You deserve support, even when you’re the one holding everything together.You deserve a life that’s bigger than your next shift.

And if this Christmas feels heavy… I see you.

I’ve stood where you’re standing.And you’re not broken.You’re just a human in a system that’s only now starting to change.

We’ll get through this season— - not by pushing harder, but by taking care of ourselves and each other in ways this industry was never taught to.

Give what you can. Keep what you need.

Author

Kimberly Flear

Kimberly Flear is a force of nature in the hospitality and recovery space, with a deep commitment to culture change. After decades spent working in the heart of restaurants, and carrying struggles no one talked about, she rebuilt her life from the inside out. Today, she uses her lived experience, leadership training, and recovery-informed lens to champion workplaces where people don’t have to suffer in silence. As the founder of Last Call Coaching, she stands as a bold, compassionate advocate for those in service, helping the industry move from burnout to belonging.