Water, Water…Everywhere

If you’ve spent time on the line, the title alone probably hits like the slap of a wet squidgy.

You know the scene: section packed down, counters sprayed and wiped in perfect lines,

and you steal that sacred seven-minute breather before climbing back into the pit for round

two.

Or it’s the post-service “water-down,” when buckets of scalding water explode across

kitchen tiles like grenades, a baptism marking the end of another shift.

Or maybe it’s just that one poor bastard who left the vac pack machine running a second

too long—

Yeah, that water.

But here, I’m nodding to something deeper—back to Coleridge’s 1834 poem, The Rime of

the Ancient Mariner:

“Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink.”

The line describes a sailor, lost at sea, surrounded by water but unable to quench his

thirst.

And for me, it’s the perfect metaphor for the modern chef’s paradox: surrounded by

food—fresh, seasonal, luxurious—and yet malnourished to the point of collapse.

Because most days, we don’t eat. Not properly.

There’s no time to sit, chew, digest.

“Never trust a skinny chef,” they say. But that person’s never stepped foot in a top-tier

kitchen in December.

Let’s be honest—malnutrition doesn’t always show up as ribs and sunken cheeks. A chef

can be at their natural weight—or even overweight—and still be severely malnourished..

So, what does it actually look like?

It’s black coffee for breakfast. Maybe a cigarette.

Running purely on adrenaline, cortisol, and spite.

The only real meal comes in the form of a staff dinner—usually sometime after 3

p.m.—when you inhale a plate of low nutrient starchy carbs like your Ronnie Coleman in

bulking season.

Then there’s the midnight ritual:

Post-service junk. Calorie-dense, nutrition-free, and eaten with one hand while the other

Googles “how to fix burnout.”

If you’re lucky, its protein scraps from the meat section, or maybe a plate of food that was

sent back to the kitchen and has been set aside for one lucky winner. But the reality is,

you’ll probably be eating Donner meat or grilled chicken from the late night kebab house.

The irony here is that if you brought meat of that quality to your own pass during service

you’d most likely get fired.

Top it off with a lukewarm beer—either shared with the team or smuggled home like some

sort of post-battle reward.

Spoiler alert: Alcohol doesn’t help you sleep.

So you collapse into bed, bloated, brain still racing, half-proud and half-horrified by what

you’ve just put yourself through.

Then tomorrow? You do it all again. Usually starting the day with a visit to your bathroom

and creation of something akin to the Chernobyl fallout.

A gruesome image yes, but the reality is, your gut and digestive track are suffering in

silence and that is linked to your brain health.

The Shelf Life

Here’s the real kicker:

This lifestyle has an expiry date.

And how long it lasts depends on your age, genetics, experience level—and frankly, how

much abuse your body and bowels can take.

Chefs are built different.

We push through more stress in one day than most do in a week—and we thrive on it.

But no one, I mean no one, can function forever on fuck all sleep and 100% adrenaline.

(Unless you’re Chuck Norris.)

The game changes when you start fuelling your body like it’s a key part of your toolkit—not

some afterthought to bolt on after service.

Even small shifts in how and when you eat can change everything.

How to Stay Fed Without Losing Time (Or Your Mind)

You don’t need a six-pack.

You need energy. Focus. The ability to handle pressure without crashing mid-shift.

Here’s how to feed the machine, without adding stress to the schedule:

1. Start the Day With Protein—Even If You Don’t Feel Hungry

Skip the croissant. Skip the third coffee.

A protein smoothie takes 90 seconds to make and travels well.

Toss in protein powder, oats, a banana, nut butter, and a splash of oat milk. Done.

It’s light, digestible, and keeps your brain online until staff meal.

Why protein? It fuels muscle repair, supports immune function, and stabilises blood

sugar—key for staying sharp through chaos.

2. Prep a Light Lunch or Snack Box

You prep 100 covers, you can prep one box for yourself.

Boiled eggs, grilled chicken, rice cakes, nuts, roasted veg, hummus, fruit—whatever works

for your taste and tolerance.

3. Hydrate… Properly

Hydration is more than just water, its the minerals in the water. Dehydration is as much

about the loss of minerals as it is about the loss of fluids.

Try adding a small teaspoon of quality pink salt and a squeeze of lemon to a glass of water

first thing in the morning.

The salt provides much needed sodium and the lemon juice can trigger the vagus nerve,

which carries signals between the brain heart and digestive system.

Try these three tips to start, They could be a game changer.

Author

Ben Jennings

A former pastry chef turned exercise professional and coach. Ben has spent nearly 8 years in Michelin-starred kitchens, battling ADHD, lack of focus, and — in his own words — “a bad attitude toward the whole environment.” He would also be the first to admit, he just wasn’t brilliant at the job. 

Ben jokingly calls himself a failed chef, but behind the banter is hard-won insight into the high-pressure world of elite kitchens. 

Today, he helps chefs and everyday people improve their physical and mental health, blending lived experience with empathy and a no-BS coaching style that gets results.