I’m Ben, I have been in this industry for 30 years I love it and has given me so many memories good and bad but never to be forgotten. Seven and half years ago I met a man who gave me an opportunity to reenergize a local pub that I took with a passion that I had lost for a while.
With the support of my ex-wife and amazing staff it became the hub of the village. Unfortunately, a couple of years ago my close friend and boss committed suicide, he didn’t talk often about his problems, so no-one saw it coming, he is really missed by all that knew and met him. I remember the day of his funeral, I asked to say a few words, little did I know there would be over 600 people there and being a shy man was a little nervous. I remember thinking after if he could see how many people celebrated his life, would it change his decision! That we will never know.
A few months ago, I was struggling mentally and didn’t talk or share my problems it caused a lot of shit in my family and the worst part was breaking down in front of my 2 beautiful children who were scared, upset but hugged me which felt amazing….
The trade we are in is rife with this, we are all stubborn and believe it will pass but it bloody doesn’t it escalates. The present situation did not help my state of mind. Jo and the team have been amazing without their support I couldn’t have done this. My partner Andrea has been so patient, understanding, loving, caring and feel very blessed we are still together because I wouldn’t have put up with me. I took redundancy last month and feel so much mentally better, Its weird having weekends off I feel a little lost……I’m trying to keep busy, cooking a lot at home which is good, feeling positive for me, Andrea and my family
I’ve been through counselling, life coach and the doctors. But what has been the most important to me is family and friends that listen without prejudice. Mental illness is a disease that people need to understand and most importantly talk about. I have personally tried to leave this world twice, luckily it didn’t work. I have an amazing network of people to talk to and I want to try to help. I’m not pretending I am totally better but I’m getting there.
Please talk to anyone that will listen and don’t be embarrassed about it as I was.
Stay safe and TALK
Note from Admin:
*If you're feeling like you want to die, it's important to tell someone.*
Help and support is available right now if you need it. You do not have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.
Phone a helpline
Talk to someone you trust
Let family or friends know what's going on for you. They may be able to offer support and help keep you safe. There's no right or wrong way to talk about suicidal feelings – starting the conversation is what's important.
Who else you can talk to
If you find it difficult to talk to someone you know, you could:
call a GP – ask for an emergency appointment
call 111 out of hours – they will help you find the support and help you need contact your mental health crisis team – if you have one